Productive (compromise option). This option assumes a partial victory both in one and in other camp. To it it is necessary to go together, i.e. it has to become result of the joint decision.
With the advent of the second child of the privilege of the elder brother or the sister are usually limited. The senior child is compelled now, and often unsuccessfully, again to win parental attention which is more usually turned on younger children.
The main thing in education of the little person – achievement of a sincere unification, moral communication of parents with the child. Parents should not neglect process of education and at more advanced age by no means, to leave the matured child alone with themselves.
The main difficulties in communication, the conflicts arise because of parental control of behavior, study of the teenager, his choice of friends, etc. extreme, the most adverse for development of the child cases – rigid, total control at authoritative education and almost total absence of control when the teenager is provided to itself, neglected. There are many intermediate options:
The family can act in quality of both a positive, and negative factor of education. Positive impact on the identity of the child consists that anybody, except the relatives for it in a family of people – mother, the father, the grandmother, the grandfather, the brother, the sister, does not treat the child better, does not love it does not care so much of it. And at the same time no other social institute can do potentially so much harm in education of children, the family how many can make.
Perhaps, parents love it when the child meets their expectations. when studies well and behaves. but if the child does not satisfy with that to requirements, the child is as if rejected, the relation changes for the worse. It brings considerable difficulties, the child is not confident in parents, he does not feel that emotional safety which has to be from the infancy. (the caused love)
The first task of parents – to find the common decision, to convince each other. If it is necessary to make a compromise, it is obligatory that the main requirements of the parties were met. When one parent makes the decision, he surely has to remember a position of the second.
The child can not be accepted by parents at all. It to them is indifferent and can even be rejected by them (for example, the alcoholic's family. But maybe in a safe family (for example, it not long-awaited, there were big problems etc.) optional parents realize it. But there are purely subconscious moments (for example, mother is beautiful, and the girl is ugly and closed. The child irritates her.)
Inadequacy can be also shown with high self-esteem. It occurs in a family where the child is praised often, and for trifles and achievements give gifts (the child gets used to material remuneration). The child is punished very seldom, system of the requirement the very soft.
Cooperation as type of relationship in a family assumes an oposredstvovannost of the interpersonal relations in a family common goals and problems of joint activity, its organization and high moral values. In this situation egoistical individualism of the child is overcome. The family where the leading type of relationship is cooperation, finds special quality, becomes group of a high level of development – collective.
Parents set also the initial level of claims of the child – that, on what it applies in educational activity and the relations. Children with the high level of claims, high self-esteem and prestigious motivation count only on success. Their ideas of the future are so optimistical.
Hyper guardianship – excessive care of the child, the excessive control of all his life based on close emotional contact - results in passivity, dependence, difficulties in communication with contemporaries.